A sudden cry!!

Lord I dont know what to do. I don't know how long shall I wait. I am out of patient. And I am sorry. I just want to make this vocal. I give up my search. As far as I see, the more I work for it the more it goes away from me. And it makes me feel that I am hopeless. Although I really tried to make myself believe that there is hope but then I didn't feel it. I give up searching for that someone I long to have in my life. For if I continue to do it, it makes me think that I am searching for my human and earthly satifaction. The more that I struggle for my search, the more aggressive I become. And I don't want to be aggressive on things. I know you teach me to be patient. But it just happened that I reahed the end point of being patient. And so I am afraid to make mistakes that I would later regret for sounding too rush on things. I need you in my life Lord. Lead me the way. I will be lost without you. For now I should shut off my search. Focus on good things I have, my family, my friends that inspires me. Forget my past and learned from it. Continue to move forward and live my life more on spiritual things. I praised you Lord. I trust you. Forgive me if I sinned. I will once again surrender myself to you LORD (Eugielene)